tenda Health

Who’s this?

I take drugs so that I don’t get high

What a stroke of genius!

I tell my siblings that since I lost half my brain with the stroke, that now I’m only twice as smart as they are

Another genius

I got my graphic designer friend to make me ‘a stroke card’. It says STROKE in big, bold letters on one side, and on the other side, in little font, it says ‘Sir/Madam, I’m not doing that’.

I pull it out sometimes when I want to ‘play my stroke card’

Dad has weird conversation starters, haha!

My dad asked me the other day, “Are you even listening to me?”

Which is a really weird way to start a conversation, if you ask me.

The offensive priest joke

A cop pulls over a car with two priests. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.”

The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.

“We’ll do it.”

Alzheimer’s goes to the doctor

A guy is in a doctor’s office. His doctor is there with him.

“I have two pieces of bad news,” the doctor says.

“What are they?”

“Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer.”

“What’s the second piece of news?” he asks.

“Well, the second piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer’s.”

The man laughs and says, “Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

Figure this out

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Walk away and win, son. There is no correct answer to this

Who’s the moron?

A wife calls her husband and says, “Be careful driving home, some complete moron is driving down the wrong side of the motorway.”

The husband replies, “There’s not just one; there’s bloody hundreds of them!”

Which one is your favorite?

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